According to some calendars, it’s “Look up at the Sky” Day. As it happened I did look up at the sky today. It was a solid blue, the shade of a robin’s egg with no clouds. It was sunny and chilly, but in the nice spring-is-coming way.
Looking at the sky is actually a personal worldview check-in for me. During a particularly lonely time in my life I felt hopeless. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. There’s loneliness. There’s helplessness. Then there’s hopelessness. It’s one of the worst feelings ever, because the person experiencing it no longer has the desire to reach out or believe in anything. It’s a dangerous place to be.
I was sitting on the steps outside of where I lived, wrapped in a thick coat and trying to find the stars in the night sky…but it was cloudy! My temporary mood lifter of brilliant stars across an inky sky was denied to me by thick, dark clouds. I was angry and saddened…at first.
Then a break in the clouds revealed a few stars for a moment. Something lit up inside of me that day that I haven’t lost since. First, I realized that even though I couldn’t see them, the stars were still there. Every day, all day. Even when I couldn’t see the light, it was still there. Second, I felt small because the sky didn’t need me. The stars didn’t care if I saw them or not. One could think that would be a bad thing, yet it was freeing. The universe is going to work if I’m there or not…as in I can’t break the universe if I make a mistake.
That’s what I tell people when they’re confused or scared. That’s what I tell myself before an adventure or a big decision. That’s what I tell people dealing with guilt…
You can’t break the universe.
So, look up at the sky and search for the light…it’s there.